Formality of Names

It has sure been a while since I have blogged anything. The days of inspiration from Psych 101 have long been past and I found that if I was not typing on my laptop it did not feel the same, perhaps my laptop is my 'journal' and without it, I cannot write. Enough of that, down to business. In this blog, I will refer to myself as Kevin Soulchaser, to maintain some semblance of anonymity.

In Japan there is great importance to names. Take the Japanese name Tsumura Tokiko, a girls name, in case you were not sure. You would introduce yourself and then she would introduce herself as Tsumara Tokiko, and since you are simply an acquintance, you refer to her as Tokiko. You may also use Tokiko-san, the san is a title of respect, similar to Mister or Missus. Until Tokiko-san gives you her permission to call her Tsumara, you may not call her that, unless you want to be considered rude and unmannerly.

'Wait a second, we do that here in America, do we not?' That is probably what you are thinking right now. Yes we do, but we do not hold as much importance on the use of our first name. You see it mostly in business or more formal meetings, where someone might say, "I'm Kevin Soulchaser, but please call me Kevin." In an informal setting, such as school or gathering, people introduce themselves by their first names to be amiable and because it is odd to address classmates as 'Mister' or 'Missus'. Even professors who wish to be more personal with students, will let their students know that they can refer to their teacher as 'First Nmae' or 'Professor'.

However in Japan, first names are reserved to kin, very close friends, or relationships. When a girl and guy start going out, often the girl will tell the guy to call her by her first name, or vice versa, and that is considered to be an act of intimacy, not so much in a sexual way, but in terms of being closer. Even in school, classmates call each other by their last names, unless otherwise asked.

I have observed something of this in school too, here in America. I know people who refer to others by their last names. I have had friends refer to me by my last name often, not by Mr. Soulchaser, but simply Soulchaser ("Hey, Soulchaser!"). I do not think that they are doing it the same way that Japan's culture uses names, I doubt they even know that aspect of Japanese culture. But at the same time it is a little true. In college I have a friend who calls a girl by her last name almost all the time. I have heard him call her by her first name on occasion, but not as often as the way he uses her last name. He does the same to a few others too. He works at a place where he is surrounded by a lot of Japanese co-workers, though they have probably adopted the Western style of addressing people and use first and last names like us, so I doubt (and he would vehemently deny) that he has picked up on their culture.

When I think about it, I have done the same, and not just to one person, to multiple people, whether I am talking to them directly or mention their name in passing. I have realized that these are people who I really have not had much interaction with over the last few years, due to the rotation of schedules, despite being in the same class. Did I automatically use the Japanese style of addressing people, and use their last names, because I did not know them well enough? Probably not, but at the same time I did anyways. I do it less now, because I realized what I was doing.

There could also be another reason behind the use of last names, to prevent any confusion on who someone actually is addressing. Last names are more unique and you usually will not find another person with the same last name in the same group of friends, but it is probable that there will be more than one person with the same first name. So that could also be a reason why some of my friends will refer to certain friends, using their last names.

In closing, I do think it is interesting the way we have developed another way to refer to friends, even if it does resemble the way people in Japan call each other. Work may also have picked up on some of this, but it mostly when the boss needs to call someone out, without a doubt on who they may be referring to. Perhaps in time, when people develop a better connection with those they address using last names, they will use their friend's first names more.